no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize