Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
