In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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