Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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