I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
