The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
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