Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
