So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
