Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
