Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
