I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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