Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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