I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Jerry, you need to find god
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
