we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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