i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize