when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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