I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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