Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
