so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
