I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I am available for nakedness
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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