You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
