the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
