when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
