I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
