Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize