she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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