i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
