Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
