FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
