Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
