You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She told me I should be a condom model.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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