I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
