Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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