White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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