all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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