why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
