You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
