Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize