He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
