i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
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