I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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