i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
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