I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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