is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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