Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i barfeds in our rink
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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