with your own penis?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
