would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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