I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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