would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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