Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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