I showed him my bush... on skype.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
