just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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