Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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