U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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