Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
