so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
