Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
