need another drink. this is the easiest way
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
