Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
