you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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