i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
