I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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