maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
