Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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