Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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