Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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