Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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