don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
a search helicopter?!
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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