The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
