So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize