so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
