I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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