Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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