i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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